It just gets harder every year to keep it together. I don't know if I can keep going. It's harder and harder and my brain feels like mush and keep reaching into a deep dark pit and pulling at the morass that surrounds me and I wish I could just keep the words on the page and out of my heart and I don't know why this is so hard this time, but I really don't think this one counts.
Maybe I should just start over. Sometimes I wish I could just pull the paper out of the typewriter crumple it up and throw it in the corner, but I write on an iPhone now and I don't want to make a $600 mistake because I can't get my head in the game.
